In the beginning, there was a myspace blog

That's right...I started this project of blogging at www.myspace.com/freestar_tammas, but now you see, I have decided to use an actual blog for my blogging. Imagine that? However I am lazy...soooo...I'm going to copy and paste my first two blogs from there to here. :D

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Wowie Zowie! All things Transformed! Current mood: thankful Category: amazed Music Wow wow wow! Get a Myspace account! I heard that nearly every day so I finally gone and done it. Wooo! So this is the most counter intuitive program I think I have ever been confused by...but I'm sure that will pass. Anyway...what all that wowing is about is that Sunday, July 15 marks the two month aniversary of my streaming in SL. Which means that exactly 15 days after I joined this crazy ass world (Second Life) I started to stream my music live. It was a crazy thing..sitting in Tyrol's garden (which has since been transformed into a total paradise and tribute to all things classic and beautiful) and playing all of four..yes four songs. That's all my poor little fingers could do on the guitar because I hadn't played in about a year and a half. And I had not performed in about six years. Many don't know this because I don't talk about it alot but I got pretty sick about six years ago and have since been partially disabled and unable to work in the REAL world in any consistant or viable manner. I was painting and drawing alot, because I am also a visual artist, but the problem came when I couldn't figure out how to market my work without running into the same limitations I had with getting out and performing music. My life goal...my calling...as I currently understand it is to take the many creative gifts I have been given and to use them to make a difference, specifically to improve understanding and relations between black and white folks in the USA, and channel any money streams I manage to generate into projects that will make a difference in the world..to fight poverty...end suffering...open doors...well..OK so I want to save the world. I admit it. I know I can't (I'm not that delutional) but I do believe that I can make a difference, even if it just means one person grows, one person helped...that one life is precious too. Maybe that one person is the one that WILL change the world, right? But I had been feeling, especially in the wake of my mother's death in February 2006, like I had no idea how I would ever do that with my limitations. I felt my world had pretty much come to a screeching halt and my grandiose visions became nothing more than pretty fantasies to pass time with while I played the Sims 2 and tried to think of good reasons to wake up in the morning. (I thank my God daily for my husband Kwai and my step girl Bluestar for being the best reasons.) Then I discovered Second Life. And overnight it all changed. I have a vehicle now (my fully abled avatar) and my limitations are not so meaningful anymore, beyond the compassion and awareness they have given me. I play my songs to a global audience almost daily and the future just seems brighter all the time! Now... my friends and family are very slow to catch on to this...you know those looks...patronizing and patient..but the eyerolling can be seen behind the pleasant smile. Tho it seems to stop as soon as I mention the possibility of getting some US dollars out of all of this. People often ask me about my musical goals. I tell you now...I don't give a damn about fame. Fame...especially in its extreme forms is only good for losing privacy and having to buy a big house with gates around it and security guards and so on. It becomes a form of prison...and I am seeking freedom. However I do want the cash flow that comes with fame because than I can DO something that matters and would make a difference with it. Money is a tool to me though..it is far from an end in itself. If, however I did end up famous by some bizzaro chance...I vow to use it as an opportunity, a platform to bring awareness of how we are all just more people struggling to have love, security, stability, family...all the same things. It makes no difference where you live or what your culture is or how much natural sun protection your skin may have come with. We all need and seek the same things from life. We are all just people. We are all just people. Be good to each other. Thursday, July 19, 2007 Tours and Recording Current mood: Groovy, but tired Category: Groovy, but tired Music Well, yesterday and today were quite the trip. Starting with yesterday...it suddenly occurred to me to offer a tour of Freestar Bay. If you've never heard of Freestar Bay..well..its my bay..hahahaha. Wait, did I already talk about this in my last blog? Well anyway...I have this bay. I have the potential opportunity to rent the land beside it and get the extended coastline I wanted to start with, but..enough is enough. For now anyhow. What I've got is pretty cool and I've got to be able to pay for that before I can expand it. The tour went great. I was amazed how many people actually showed up. I was bumming pretty hard about my first two openings but some very kind friends, some new and some relatively old really worked to get me to feel better and suceeded. So anyway, I had this tour and it went totally amazingly great. That was yesterday. I thought maybe five people would come but 18 showed up. Thank goodness Avvy was there and ready to jump in whereever needed! (Avvy did the cool video of my first opening.) So...as we went along, more people appeared, I guess because the people that were already there liked what they saw. There were many compliments and exclamations and that made me feel really good. Then we got up to the Virtual Universe and even more people came, and Avvy played live and so I sent out an annoucement and more came..I never did get a total head count but it was great to see all those avatars dancing around and having a good time in something I envisioned and made happen. That really rocked. Then I did a short set and that night did a decent set to a not very big crowd in Nantucket. I'm worried about the low attendance at those..but i have to consider the kind of competition I am up against at that hour too...its a tough time. Today was just as exciting because I talked to Pman on skype and he and Guitar Edman decided to make me their test project for the recording process using their SL studio. It was a wakeup call too..because I realize now..after a two hour conversation..pre-production, he called it, that I am really gonna have to stop playing for awhile..put off my tour and all and just focus on recording for at least a solid month. It's gonna be alot of work..learning how to use my equipment for real as well as possibly several software programs, as well as really improving my chops, specifically my guitar playing, but in the end I will be a better musician and also know how to do this myself..and its really about time, you know? There's alot of work ahead, and it will be a challenge to keep what I started with Freestar Bay going but I think I can do it. I may need to hire someone to oversee things and alot of my (and largely Avvy's) ideas are going to have to wait. Just the same, someone I never heard of before was visiting the bay and donated 50L. That's cool! :D This just might work! Free!